As you know, Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize last Friday.
At first, I thought it was some sort of joke. And then I decided it actually was. “Wow. They’re giving them out to everyone now, aren’t they?”
The sentiment is not mine alone. For example, Ana Marie Cox, National Correspondent for Air America radio, wrote on Twitter, “Apparently Nobel Prizes are now being awarded to anyone who is not George Bush.”
After much debate, I think we’ve finally zeroed in on why Obama received the prize. It’s for his extraordinary effort, as Jerry Salcido reports at the Campaign for Liberty, “at bringing peace to the anti-war movement.” This has allowed him to further implement the peace-keeping missions created by his predecessor and the predecessor before that.
This should not come as a complete surprise. Nobel Peace Prize laureates over the past decade have included the UN, for their extraordinary efforts to promote endless bickering between national governments; the International Panel on Climate Change, for their extraordinary efforts to build up and disseminate greater myths— er, I mean, “knowledge,” about the global climate; and most importantly, Al Gore (for inventing the Internet).
(Yup. That joke still works.)
Your Own Peace Prize
In the spirit of the Nobel, I’m instituting my own peace prize. I haven’t given it a name yet— but I know that I don’t want my name on it. (Feel free to suggest names along with your contest entries below.)
If you’re the most deserving person— Ha! (Sorry, I couldn’t keep a straight face. Let me begin again.) If you win, I’ll give you an autographed copy of The Conscience of Abe’s Turn, Volume 1. This is a libertarian novel about the dangers of power. (Here’s an unsolicited Abe’s Turn review, from a libertarian who seems to get what it’s about. Google for other reviews, if you want.)
I’ll also subscribe you to my on-again–off-again print newsletter, which I send out (when I release a new issue) to my web-shop customers.
So the prize: a free book, with my authentic autograph; a free subscription to my newsletter; and the notoriety and fun that goes along with posting snarky comments on a political blog. (I don’t know about you, but if I weren’t running this contest, I’d participate just for the last of these. The free book is just a bonus.)
How to Enter
Submit a comment below, a few sentences explaining why you ought to receive a Nobel Peace Prize.
(Note that I want to know why you should receive a Nobel Peace Prize, not why you should receive a copy of my book. You can get the book just by ordering it, if you really wanted it that bad. But why should the Nobel committee award you a Nobel Peace Prize? That’s the question at hand.)
For example, here are a few possibly winning entries:
I ought to receive a Nobel Peace Prize because I’ve actually done more in my own private life to promote free, consensual commerce and non-violent conflict resolution than any government agency.
I ought to receive a Nobel Peace Prize because I plan to try really hard to make extraordinary efforts to pour myself a hot bath with vanilla and lavender. (And we all know how peaceful that is.)
I ought to receive a Nobel Peace Prize because Sirrus and Achenar didn’t fool me for one second! Yes, I actually won the computer game Myst. First time, too. No walkthrough needed.
I ought to receive a Nobel Peace Prize because I love the color pink. And I also hate big corporations and stockholders, because all they want is money, and all they have is money. And besides, why should they get all the money?! I have a 401(k). How come I’m not rich? It’s not fair!
I ought to receive a Nobel Peace Prize because you’re sooooo cool, and I really want to read your book. (That’s apparently as good a reason as any for being awarded a Nobel Peace Prize.)
How the Winner Will Be Chosen
As with Nobel Peace Prize laureates, entries will be judged by an impartial panel of experts—specifically, me and me alone—who will weigh such factors as the entrant’s peace accomplishments, the charisma and humor value of the entry, and whether the coin flip comes up heads or tails. The panel of experts—again, me and me alone—may also choose entries at random, or based upon whether I’m having a fun day or a sucky day.
(So in other words, for the record, this is not actually a contest. That part about entries actually being judged, that’s just for humor. The winner will actually be chosen in a random giveaway.)
(However, I may link-to or comment on some of the more notable entries elsewhere on the blog.)
How Long the Giveaway Will Last
On or around midnight, Monday, November 2, I’ll pick the winner. I’ll post a follow-up post and announce who it is. I’ll also email you for your mailing address, so that I can send you your free book.
So get those entries in! Submit a comment below!
P.S. You may submit multiple entries if you’d like, but I’ll only count each person once. (Please, no posing as multiple personas in order to increase your chances of winning. This giveaway is for fun, and posing as multiple personas is against the rules.)
P.P.S. If you want to comment, but don’t want to be entered in the giveaway, just say so in your comment.